stick / slick

an unnecessary statement about blogging before i begin:

i have avoided this.
a commitment             to the struggle      of writing
the kind of pain that is a stretch so it really
is not
it is actually discomfort
it is easy when you have something to say
and know just how to say it
it is more difficult to record the process of
how you discovered
how to say

so committing
to writing
i was


it is what i should be

there there there.       okay and i thought blogs were cheesy
and i thought             who the fuck wants to read this gurgling pool of my thoughts all the time
maybe nobody
but i realized there is not so much risk in a blog.
not like the insulated platforms of digitally mediated social media
where one enters a closed world.
it is like a little island
in the ocean of the internet.
you cannot really happen upon things because it is too self contained
and people are funneled to you by choosing to follow your page
so it creates a specific kind of relationship between you all:
 one that holds your fluidity hostage
i feel
they feel
we all feel
"i cannot walk away"
i have chosen this engagement 

but here
one can come and go as they please
stay and read if you like
or leave if you do not, 
there is a whole wide web of ideas
waiting for you outside of this place